Change is inevitable. Each week I meet individuals passionate about their purpose and desire to be successful in their endeavours. They express something is stopping them from achieving their ambitions and feel a sense of fear and regret.
When I ask the question “What’s stopping you?” there are moments of silence and they’re not sure or can’t pinpoint the issues.
In many, if not most cases, it’s simply the essential tools required for change – a word that creates fear and yet you know is inevitable. So why or who instils this fear and how does it take over or place us in a suspended state of being?
Accepting change as a natural part of life is the same as growing old. For the first 20 or so years you are trained to listen to voices that are not your own. The echoes of parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, peers and mentors telling you what’s right or wrong. How to make decisions and impregnating their choices and decisions into your thought processes.
Growing up you realise that not every opinion matches your own belief system. You have repressed your own point of view and to a degree your voice is inaudible. All their beliefs, judgements, attitudes and ideas have been planted in your mind whilst your own opinions swim around trying to take pride of place. Is what you believe right or more important than what you’ve been taught or told for the first 20 years of your life?
Remove the Training Wheels
The implanted teachings from your past are similar to training wheels on a bike. Fundamental lay of the land rules to set you up for the rest of your life. You get to choose which of those ideas and thoughts have purpose and connect to your own inner truth. Now you need to raise the voice that has been sitting silent for so long.
Let the inaudible become audible, raise your voice to become distinct and purposeful. Pay attention to it, it’s your intuition – very different from your conscience. Raising the level of your own echo resonates it to the same vibration as your intuition. Allowing you to overcome fears and make better decisions to create your desires in life.
Raising your own voice to an audible level means you know yourself better. The Greek philosopher Socrates used the aphorism “Know Thyself”. Knowledge of self is important to your ability to understand and know who you are. To evaluate others more accurately and therefore makes allowances for them and, in turn, acknowledge your own limitations and possibilities, to make decisions that will help you grow and change.
With a trusted voice, you have a better sense of reasoning and the power to make better assessments about yourself and others. Knowing yourself and trusting your intuitive process provides you a better understanding of how you see acquaintances, colleagues, and friends. How they should be accepted and how they accept you. You also become less bothered if someone doesn’t agree with your decisions as now your voice is trusted.
Learning to read others means first reading yourself.
You often make things harder by comparing yourself with the idealised view of others. Again, the training wheels must be removed so you can make choices of your own. You may fall over, you may falter but in the long run, taking responsibility for the failings means success and change becomes so much more worthwhile.
The reason I started doing business counselling is because I found too many business owners, entrepreneurs and individuals who had lost their voice. In turn, losing their passion and at risk of letting fear take over.
If every day you can accept that change will happen, if every day you can look forward to any new challenges and “know” that you will find the answers and overcome them, your voice will be heard as an expert in your industry. Overtime you learn more about yourself and this self-understanding can only help you change for the better.